please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
