oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
