how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you had me at cake vodka
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
