My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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