Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
