JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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