im about as happy as oj after his trial
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
