i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
