thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
