Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
