i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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