Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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