I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
