We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
