I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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