Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
