you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im on a boat
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