He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
