Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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