Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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