dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
