No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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