i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
