that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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