i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
