that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
