She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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