Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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