do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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