Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
