She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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