we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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