He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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