how can u be prego again
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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