Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
