What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
