There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
