He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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