So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
