i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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