the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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