mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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