omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
