He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
