she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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