Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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