Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is wine microwaveable?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dick very happy bro
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
