im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
