I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
