I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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