Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
