Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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