its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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