just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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