drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just gift wrapped bread.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
