i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
