i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
