Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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